A Seireitei Christmas!
by Zombie Zabimaru
Summary: The Gotei 13, much to their annoyance, have been ordered to prepare the Seireitei for Chistmas! But with Aizen and the Arrancar still as a threat, is celebrating Christmas REALLY a good idea? If it means seeing one of the captains dress like Santa, yes!
1. Talk About Unexpected!

**Chapter 1: Talk About Unexpected!**

The alarm (which still consists of someone bashing a plank of wood) sounded louder than ever throughout Soul Society. Everywhere you went, you could hear a Shinigami shouting "All captains and lieutenants are to report to Captain-Commander Yamamoto at once!" Shinigami everywhere were confused. Some were even scared. The alarm suddenly sounded with no warning. Lieutenants never accompanied their captains to see Yamamoto before. What could possibly have happened?

Captain-Commander Yamamoto stood in the meeting hall, looking more serious than ever. Next to him was his lieutenant, Chojiro Sasakibe. Like the other captains and lieutenants, he had no idea what was happening. Whenever he questioned his captain about it, all Yamamoto would say was "Wait until the other captains and lieutenants arrive, and then I'll explain everything." And so, he did wait.

A few minutes later, the other nine captains had lined up in the meeting hall, with their lieutenants standing beside them. As Captain Aizen, Captain Ichimaru, and Captain Tosen had rebelled, Izuru, Momo, and Hisagi just stood where their captains would have been. And since Captain Joshiro didn't actually have a lieutenant, he had to bring Kiyone and Sentaro with him. Something inside him was telling him that their presence in the Captains' meeting hall was NOT going to go well at all.

"Captain," Yamamoto said, his voice slightly louder than normal, "And lieutenants. I have gathered you here due to some information that was recently reported to me by one of the Shinigami from the Human world."

Byakuya's eyes widened slightly. "Is it the Arrancar? Is Aizen attacking?"

Yamamoto looked to the captain. "No. Aizen is yet to make any sort of attack."

"Then what is it?"

Yamamoto's eyes turned to he could see all of the captains at once. "The Human world is preparing for a very special occasion. Although I have heard of it many times as a Shinigami, I always assumed it to be a rumour. But now I know that is it real, and we must prepare at once!"

"What is this occasion?" Komamura asked.

Yamamoto closed his eyes for a few seconds. All of the captains and lieutenants became nervous. They had no idea of what to expect.

Then Mayuri Kurotsuchi remembered the date. He then spoke out. "Oh, please don't say it's..."

Yamamoto's eyes opened. "Christmas!"

Everyone started at Yamamoto, jaws hanging open. No-one was sure of what to say. There were only two people who didn't seem bothered by Yamamoto's announcement: Yamamoto himself, and Yachiru, who was too busy climbing up the wall without anyone noticing. By the time Toshiro managed to respond to Yamamoto's announcement, she was already on the ceiling.

"ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING?"

Yamamoto stared at Toshiro, slight confusion on his face. "Is there a problem, Captain Hitsugaya?"

"Captain-Commander Yamamoto, as much as I respect your authority, I honestly think you've completely ad utterly lost it!"

"Why?"

"Christmas has been going on for over a thousand years, and you only just acknowledge it?"

"Yes?"

"I've known about it since BEFORE I became a Shinigami!"

"You don't even know what I'm going to suggest."

"Are you going to suggest that we decorate the entire of Soul Society with red and green tinsel, get one of us to dress up as Santa Claus, and somehow make it snow, when we could be doing something like, oh, I don't know, killing Hollows or fighting Aizen?"

"Actually, no."

Toshiro blinked. "Really?"

"Just decorate the Seireitei. Leave out the Rukongai."

"Captain, this is complete and utter madness!"

"Failure to comply with my instructions will be treated as a crime against Soul Society and will be punishable by execution."

"How? The Sokyoku was destroyed."

"Executions will be carried out using my Bankai."

A fake smile appeared on Toshiro's face. "Righty-ho, then! What will you have us do?"

"Each of your divisions will carry out a certain task." Yamamoto turned to Retsu Unohana. "Captain Unohana, I want your division to make costumes of elves and reindeer for all of the Shinigami."

Unohana wasn't sure of how to reply to this strange demand, so she simply nodded, not wanting to face the unknown wrath of Yamamoto's Bankai.

"Captain Hitsugaya, I want your division to cover the entire Soul Society in thick snow."

"Captain, how am I supposed to do that."

"Use your Zanpakuto."

"My Zanpakuto controls ice, not snow."

"Hitsugaya, if you won't comply..." Yamamoto patted the hilt of his Zanpakuto.

"...But I'm sure there's at least one Shinigami in my division with a snow-themed Zanpakuto!" Toshiro smiled nervously. "There's bound to be!"

Yamamoto nodded and turned to Mayuri. "Captain Kurotsuchi, I want your division to create a sleigh capable of flying while carrying heavy amounts of cargo."

Mayuri nodded, and said under his breath, "Toshiro's right, this is utter madness."

"The rest of you, decorate the Seritetei with Christmas decorations. Also," From behind him, he lifted up a Santa costume. "Fine some way to decide which Captain should wear this."

Everyone pointed to Yamamoto.

"No."

"You've got the beard." Shunsui said.

"Yes, but I'm fr too important to appear involved in such a silly and embarrassing scheme!"

Joshiro's jaw dropped again. "But this whole thing was your idea!"

"Yes, but no-one else outside this room knows this." His hand went to his Zanpakuto. "And they never will. Understood?"

Everyone nodded and walked out, unsure of what exactly to do.

Mayuri had no idea of how to make a flying sleigh.

Toshiro knew all of the Zanpakuto powers in his division, and he was pretty sure none of them used snow.

Retsu's division's top skill was healing, not sewing clothes.

And none of the captains wanted to wear a bright red coat and a fake beard!

Actually, deep down, Byakuya wanted to, but he was far to respected to let his reputation be ruined by a simple desire to look ridiculous.


	2. Zaraki Has A Plan, Toshiro Has A Problem

**Chapter 2: Zaraki Has A Plan, Toshiro Has A Problem**

The captains walked out of the meeting hall with their lieutenants. The captains were all thinking exactly the same thing: _There is absolutely no way that I am dressing up as Santa Claus! I wonder if the other captains are thinking exactly the same thing as me? Nah, that would be far too silly! Still, it IS possible..._

Joshiro finally decided to bring it up. "So how are we going to decide who's going to dress up as Santa?"

Before any of the other captains could answer him, Kiyone Kotatsu leapt out in front of him. "Captain! You shouldn't have to humiliate yourself by dressing up so foolishly! Allow me to dress as Santa Claus in your place!"

Sentaro Kotsubaki bashed her on the top of her head with his fist. "You can't dress up as Santa Claus! You're not tall enough!" He turned to Joshiro. "Captain Ukitake, please allow me to take your place as Santa Claus!"

"Hey, shut up! Stop copying me!"

"Says the person who's ALWAYS copying me!"

"BULLS**T!"

"YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?"

"BRING IT ON!"

Joshiro intervened. "Both of you, stop it!"

They both bowed and said at the exact same time, "Sorry, Captain, please exept my apoligies!...Stop copying me! Oh, that is it! You wanna fight?"

Joshiro sighed. "It's times like this that I really miss Kaien..."

Soi Fon tilted her head downwards slightly. "I refuse to dress as Santa. It is foolish and ridiculous."

Byakuya shut his eyes. "I have my reputation as head of the Kuchiku family to uphold."

Toshiro looked around. "I'm simply too short."

Shunsui smiled. "I can't wear a Santa hat without having to take this hat off first."

Zaraki grinned maliciously. "Why don't we have a little contest to see who should dress as Santa?"

All of the captains looked at Zaraki. "What kind of contest?" Komamura asked.

"A simple one." Zaraki looked around him. "It would seem my lieutenant has wondered off again." He looked back to the other captains. "The first person to find her, capture her, and show all of the other captains that she has been contained, will be able to decide which captain will dress up."

Komamura stared blankly at Zaraki. "How is that simple?"

"It's a variation of hide-and-seek. How isn't that simple?"

"It's not simple because the person we are seeking is Yachiru Kusajishi."

"Makes it all the more interesting."

Komamura sighed. "Fine. Anyone else up for it?"

All of the other captain agreed. Zaraki grinned. "Nice."

Now it was just a matter of which captain could be the last one to not give up searching the entire Seiteitei to find her.

About an hour later, after looking aound for Yachiru, Toshiro called his entire division together for a meeting. They had already been informed via Hell Butterfly about the whole Christmas thing, as well as the Yachiru hunt.

Toshiro cleared his throat, and spoke loudly to his division. "Do any of you know a Shinigami with a snow-type Zanpakuto?"

After a bit of mumbling amongst themselves, they all replied with "No."

Rangiku turned to follow her captain, who was walking back to his office. "Isn't Rukia's Zanpakuto snow-based?"

"No. It's ice-based, like mine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Only her Zanpakuto's name, Sode no Shirayuki, is translated as 'Sleeved White Snow', so it is possible..."

"No, it isn't."

"It might be!"

"Rangiku, just because her Zanpakuto's translated same includes the word 'snow', does not mean that it uses a snow-based ability."

"Renji's does."

"Renji's Zanpakuto is a giant snake-whip thing! Nothing to do with snow!"

"No, I mean his Zanpakuto's translated name is relevant to its abilities!"

"What's Zabmaru's translated name, then?"

"Snake Tail."

"...Ok. But I bet you can't name another one!"

"Byakuya's means 'Thousand Cherry Blossoms'".

"Ok, name three more."

"Mine translates as 'Ash Cat', Captain-Commander Yamamoto's translates as 'Flowing Blade-Like Flame' , and yours translates as 'Ice Ring'!"

Toshiro didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Ok, fine! It IS possible that Rukia MIGHT have a snow-based power!"

Rangiku smiled. "So, we should go find her!"

"Yeah, and I bet you that we'll bump into Ichigo almost as soon as we arrive."

"Yeah, probably."


	3. Kisuke's No Scrooge And Neither Is Aizen

**Chapter 3: Kisuke's No Scrooge, And Neither Is Aizen!**

"...And that's why we need your help."

Toshiro and Rangiku had travelled to the Human world, and found Rukia at the Urahara shop. Rukia stared at them blankly. "So...What do you need me for?"

Before Toshiro could throw a fit about how he just explained what he needed her help with, Rangiku intervened. "Your Zanpakuto's name translates as 'Sleeved White Snow', so I had the idea that you might have some snow-based abilities!"

Rukia still stared blankly. "Umm...I don't think the name of a Shinigami's Zanpakuto is always relevant to its abilities..."

Rangiku grabbed Rukia by her head, lifted her off the ground, and started saking her from side to side while shouting at her. "YES, IT DOES! SHIRO-CHAN AGREED WITH ME! THAT MEANS I AM RIGHT! OTHERWISE, WE DIE!"

"What do you mean we die?" Rukia only just managed to speak.

"Captain-Commander Yamamoto has threatened us with death by Bankai if we don't comply with his orders." Toshiro said.

Rukia struggled out of Rangiku's grip and dropped to the ground. "Oh, why didn't you say so? Yeah, I have a snow power!"

"YOU HAVE?" Toshiro's face was slightly red. "Why didn't you just tell us that earlier?"

"It's a Kido power! You asked about Zanpakuto powers."

Toshiro sighed, and calmed down. "In that case, would you mind returning with us to Soul Society to put this Kido power into action?"

"Not at all! Though there's just one thing..."

"What?"

"Well, Ichigo is very likely to find out about this, and will probably demand to come with us."

"Why would that be a problem?"

"Well, I assumed by the fact that you both looked around when you walked into looking like you were making sure someone wasn't here, meant that you didn't want to se Ichigo right now."

"Well...the thing is...I don't mean to offend him, but..."

"Bad things happen when he's around?"

"Well...yeah. I mean, think about it. When he first went to the Soul Society, I got stabbed and almost died, Momo got stabbed and almost died, Zaraki got stabbed a lot and almost died, Byakuya cot attacked by Ichigo's Hollow counterpart and almost died, Ikkaku got sliced up and almost died, your friend Chad got stabbed and almost died, Mayuri got his arm shot off and a holt shot through him, and miraculously survived, Yumichika got his face blown up, Renji got sliced up and almost died, Komamura got sliced up and almost died, two Lieutenants got thrown into prison, and to top it off, three of our captains betrayed Soul Society and formed an army of Arrancar!"

Rukia shrugged. "Fair enough, I suppose."

"So how do we get rid of him for a while."

Kisuke Urahara walked into the room, and threw something at Toshiro. "Use this."

Toshiro looked at what was in his hand. A small white circular objest, that looked like a tablet. Toshiro looked up at Urahara. "Hollow bait?"

Urahara nodded. "Ichigo is a stronger Shinigami now. He should be able to fight them all off."

Rukia objected. "Urahara, the last time someone used this, a Menos Grande attacked!"

"And Ichigo fought it off."

"With complete and utter luck that could have killed him!"

"I have faith in him. He will survive." Urahara started walking around the shop "And besides, he has friends who will assist him."

"They'll get hurt! Orihime and Chad have never gone up against a Menos before!"

"There's a first time for everything."

"THEY COULD DIE!"

"If that happens, you can return here, find their ghosts, send them to Soul Society, they can enter the Shinigami academy, become Shinigami, gain possession of a Gigai each, and return to the human world, and resume their lives as normal!" Urahara smiled. Rukia didn't.

"Yeah. Prefectly normal, apart from the whole 'not-aging' thing!"

"I don't suppose you have any better ideas?"

"Yeah, actually, I do!"

"What idea do you have?"

"We could just tell Ichigo that I have to go to Soul Society for a few days, and that he can't come!"

"You really think that will work?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I don't!" Urahara snatched the Hollow bait from Toshiro's hand and crushed it in his hand. Rukia and Toshiro stared, jaws hanging wide open. Rangiku was busy looking through the alcohol collection to pay attention to what was going on. "Honestly, Rukia, considering Ichigo rarely listens to anything you say, do you really think he's not going to follow you to Soul Society? Besides, even if he can't go the same way you can, he'll just come here and ask me to send him there, and I can't do that!"

Rukia finally found the will to speak. "Why not?"

"Because..." Kisuke took off his white and green hat, and replaced it with a Santa Claus hat. "I'm preparing the shop for Christmas!"

From outside, they could all hear a Hollow scream.

"You'd better be on your way, then." Urahara opened the door for them. "Ichigo will probably have all of these Hollows killed in about ten minutes, so you'd best hurry back to Soul Society."

Toshiro glared at Urahara. "Urahara, I swear, if any civilians die today, I will come back for your head!"

Urahara frowned and started walking back into the shop. "Merry Christmas to you too, Captain Hitsugaya."

Toshiro grabbed Rangiku by that arm. "Rangiku! Have you been paying attention to anything that's been going on?"

Rangiku looked at him. "Of course I have!"

"Then what just happened?"

"Urahara said there was no possible way that he would use any kind of Hollow bait to distract Ichigo from following us to Soul Society!"

Toshiro sighed. "...Let's just go back to Soul Society, already!"

The Arrancar moved quickly to avoid being detected. He had already escaped from the Seireitei, but he wasn't far enough yet. If he opened a gateway to the Hueco Mundo here, the Shinigami would swarm around him before he could blink. It took him a while to get far enough, but when he did, opening a gateway was a piece of cake. He leapt through it, and it sealed behind him before anyone could notice.

The Arrancar went straight to the throne room, walked up to the throne, stopped right in front of it, dropped to one knee, and bowed his head. Aizen looked at him. "What news do you bring from the Soul Society?"

The Arrancar had been able to spy on the captains' meeting earlier that day. He explained to Aizen that they were preparing the Seireiteu for Christmas. When the Espada heard this, they all laughed loudly. Well, all except Ulquiorra. Obviously.

"Christmas?" Grimmjow finally managed to get words out of his mouth after laughing so much. "The Shinigami really have become pathetic!"

"A complete waste of energy that could be spent trying to defeat us." Ulquiorra said.

"It is..." Azien said. "I mean, their Christmas decorations won't be nearly as good as ours!"

The Espada turned to Aizen. Ulquiorra opened his mouth. "What do you mean, Lord Aizen?"

"We can't let them have a better Christmas than us! We have to decorate the Hueco Mundo to look better than the Seiteitei!"

"Sir, with all due respect, Christmas is a waste of time. If they're distracted by it, then they'll be perfect targets for an all-out attack."

"I don't care! Christmas is being celebrated by humans and Shinigami. We simply cannot be left out!"

"Lord Aizen, it would not be a misassumption to say that you have succumbed to something that I would like to call 'Christmas Insanity', also known as 'Chrisanity' ot 'Insanitmas'."

"Ulquiorra, would you like to be dressed up as Santa?"

"What? No!"

Aizen threw a large ball of tinsel at Ulquiorra. "Then shut up and put those up somewhere!"

Ulquiorra sighed, and walked off, dragging the tinsel behind him.


	4. The Great Yachiru Hunt Begins

**Chapter 4: The Great Yachiru Hunt Begins**

"Wow...you killed them all already?"

Kisuke Urahara was standing outside of his shop, staring at Ichigo, Chad, Orihime, and Uryu. Each of them had a few cuts and bruises on them, but not enough to say that they struggled against the millions of Hollows that swarmed Karakura Town. In fact, they barely had any trouble at all, seeing as Ichigo had learnt Bankai.

Ichigo wiped the seat from his face. "Yup. Every single one."

"In half an hour?"

"I have Bankai, remember?" Ichigo swung his Zanpakuto (which was i its Bankai form) around above his head, probably just to show off. He then looked around at his friends. Chad, Orihime, Uryu..."Urahara, do you know where Rukia is?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because Toshiro threatened to kill me."

"Did he?"

"Yes. Wait...no he didn't, he threatened to kill me if anyone was killed..."

"She's in Soul Society, isn't she?" Orihime asked.

"...No."

"Then why did you pause before answering?"

"...Because I had to take a few seconds to remember that Rukia told me that wherever she was going, it most definitely was not Soul Society to make lots of snow for Christmas using Kido!"

Orihime nodded, and started walking around the shop, looking at the Christmas decorations that Urahara had put up. Everyone watched her, not sure of what she would do. She took a lighter from one of the shelves. She walked towards a small Christmas tree that Urahara had on the counter, and flicked the switch on lighter until a small flame appeared. She moved the lighter closer towards the Christmas tree.

"OK! SHE'S IN SOUL SOCIETY! JUST DON'T BURN THE CHRISTMAS TREE! PLEASE!"

Uryu, Chad, and Ichigo all started at Urahara, startled by his completely unexpected reaction. Orihime, on the other hand, spun around in delight, and walked back to the others.

She accidently left the lighter next to the tree. The flame was still alight.

Rangiku was starving. Due to the captain/lieutenant meeting, spending an hour looking for Yachiru, and then going to the Human world to find Rukia, she had forgotten to eat. Thankfully, it semmed that someone was carrying a lot of chocolate muffins around Soul Society, and had dropped them everywhere so they formed a trail. Rangiku, not believing this to be a trap (if it was, she believed herself clever enough to figure it out beforehand and escape if necessary), started picking up the muffins and eating them.

"*groan*, I think I ate too many..." Rangiku said, after her fifteenth muffin. "But...there's still a few more..."

A few minutes later, she returned to the muffin trail with a bag, and, with a chocolate-covered smile on her face, started putting the muffins into the bag, and kept on walking...

Mayuri Kurotsuchi stood in the shadows, his hand firmly clenched around a large stick, with a net on the end. He had set a trap that only the most simple-minded Shinigami would fall for. After falling for this trap, Yachiru would have no choice but to walk past Mayuri, at which point he would swing the net over her, claiming his victory, and having his pick of who should dress as Santa Claus.

He heard footsteps. He was certain it was Yachiru. Anyone else who saw the muffin trail would clearly see it was a trap and go somewhere else. _Well, not EVERYONE else, _Mayuri thought, _But I have to trap them, in case it is that little brat! _They came into sight. He swung the net. SHE WAS CAUGHT!

"Gah! Lieutenant Matsumoto!"

Rangiku stared at Mayuri through the net,still holding onto the bag of collected muffins. "Hello, Captain."

"Why did you follow the muffin trail? You should have known it was a trap!"

"Yeah, I did know that, but I was hungry..."

"You IDIOT!" Mayuri walked away angrily. "How did someone with your stupidity even become a lieutenant?"

Rangiku sat down on the ground, still in the net, pondering on why Mayuri called her an idiot (It WAS actually him who set the trap up, so what did he expect?), and becan counting the muffins she had collected.

Byakuya had a much more subtle plan than Mayuri's. The head of the Kuchiki family sat in the middle of a field outside the Seireitei, his legs crossed, his eyes closed, and his Zanpakuto in front of him, the blade sticking into the ground so it stood upright instead of lying down on its side. He believed his plan to be far better and far more brilliant than any other plan the other Shinigami's would ever come up with.

Then again, he would think that. This IS Byakuya Kuchiki we're talking about.

Yumichika Ayasegawa was walking past and saw Byakuya, and was wondering what he was doing.

"Hello, Captain Kuchiki."

Byakuya didn't resond.

"Taking a beauty nap?"

No responce.

"...I wonder if I could put make-up on your face without waking you up..."

"If you do that, your blood will paint the trees around us."

"...So, what are you doing?"

"It is inevitably that at some point, Yachiru Kusajishi will walk past this exact spot. At that point, I shall activate my Shikai, slicing her to pieces, which I shall collect in a bag, and show the rest of the captains, claiming my reward of choosing a captain to dress as Santa Claus."

Yumichika didn't respond to that. He just stared at the clearly bloodthirsty captain, and then walked off, unsure of what he was going to do next.

Joshiro Ukitake and Soi-Fon were sitting in their separate quaters. Joshiro was enjoing some herbal tea, and Soi-Fon was sharpening her Zanpakuto. Their plans were much simpler than the other captains. As Soi-Fon was in charge of the Stealth Squad, she had ordered the entire squad to patrol the entire of Soul Society, and to capture as soon as they saw her, and bring her back to the Captain at once.

Joshiro chose a plan that allowed him some peace and quiet for a few hours. _A few days peace and quiet, if I'm lucky,_ he thought. He has given the task of finding Yachiru to Kiyone and Sentaro. They were each searching different parts of Soul Society, which would take them some time. What's more, Joshiro had instructed them to travel to the Human world if they couldn't find her in the Soul Society. He even made a joke about them havin to go to Hueco Mundo if she wasn't in the Human world either.

At least, he hoped they knew it was a joke.

Retsu Unohana wasn't joining in on the Yachiru hunt right now. She knew that no-one would pick her to dress as Santa, and she couldn't decide who she wanted to dress as Santa either. She and her squad were still too busy making elf and reindeer costumes for (and I've put this in bold because it seems more appropriate) **every single Shinigami in the Seireitei**.

The hardest part of that job was finding out everyone's costume sizes.


	5. All Jaws Drop For Yachiru

**Chapter 5: All Jaws Drop For Yachiru**

"...AND YOU CAN NEVER, EVER ASK ME TO SEND YOU TO SOUL SOCIETY EVER AGAIN!"

Seeing Kisuke Urahara this angry was like seeing a cheque for a million quid fall from the sky in front of you; it just never happened.

This means that somewhere on the planet, someone just got a million quid richer.

Mind you, Urahara had a perfectly good reason to be this angry. His shop had somehow caught fire and burned down around him, Ichigo, Chad, Uryu, and Orihime. Although Orihime had assured him that it couldn't possibly be her fault. After all, she would never be as stupid as to leave an active lighter next to a small Christmas tree on a wooden counter, which could very easily catch fire, causing everything else near it to burst into flames, quickly spreading to the walls and ceiling, this causing the building to collapse in a heap of rubble and flames.

Nope, it simply couldn't be Orihime's fault at all!

Urahara picked his hat out of the ruins, hit it a few times to get the rubble off, and placed it on his head. He then pointed to Ichigo. "The Urahara Shop will be temporarily moved to your house!"

Ichigo eyes widened. "What?" He pointed at Orihime. "It was her fault!"

Orihime looked at him and pulled a face. "Was not!"

Urahara glared at them with angry eyes. It almost looked like flames would shoot out of his eyes. They both silenced themselves. He then walked towards Ichigo. He stopped mere millimetres away from his face.

"Where is the Urahara Shop moving to?"

"M-my house?"

"Correct. For how long will it remain there?"

"Umm...until this place gets rebuilt?"

"WRONG!" In a flash, Urahara lifted his cane off the ground and had smacked Ichigo over the head with it. "The Urahara Shop will remain there until YOU rebuild this place!"

Ichigo was kneeling on the ground, his hands clutched around the open wound on the top of his head, which a lot of blood was pouring out of. "Why do I have to do it?"

"Because you are Ichigo Kurosaki! You have to do everything!"

Orihime stepped forward a little. "Um, Mr. Urahara, you don't need to be so violent towards..."

Urahara's eyes flicked towards Orihime like fire. "F***!" Orihime turned pale in shock. "YOU!"

Urahara pointed at Chad. "AND YOU!" He pointed to Uryu. "AND YOU, EVEN THOUGH NIEHTER OF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS, AND YOU HAVN'T SAID A SINGLE WORD THROUGHOUT THE LAST CHAPTER!"

Orihime suddenly looked confused. "Chapter?"

Urahara suddenly panicked. "Umm...I mean, uhh..."

He was gonna have a hell of a time explaining this.

Thankfully, he didn't have to, as a certain pink-haired Shinigami dropped from the sky and landed on his head, rendering him unconscious. Yachiru then looked up at Ichigo and smiled.

"Hi, Icchi! Hi, Jiggles! Hi, Muscles! Hi, Pencil! Merry Christmas!"

Ichigo, Chad, and Orihime just stared at the crumpled heap that was Urahara lying on the ground. Uryu was the only one to reply with "H-hello, Yachiru-san."

"What're you guys up to?"

"We're trying to get to Soul Society."

"Where's that?"

All jaws except Yachiru's and Urahara's dropped. How could Yachiru not know where Soul Society is? She just came from there, didn't she? How could she forget after five seconds?

Yachiru started walking away, muttering to herself about someone called 'fox-face' or something. Ichigo and the others were about to start heading back to his house when Kiyone and Sentaro dropped from the sky, Landing on either side of Urahara instead of on top of him.

Both Shinigami bowed, and Sentaro spoke. "You're that substitute Shinigami, right?"

Ichigo nodded.

"You know who Lieutenant Yachiru is, right?"

"...Yeah?"

"Do you know where she is?"

Ichigo pointed to where Yachiru had started walking. Both Shinigami bowed, and then flash stepped in the same direction.

With no clue what those two wanted with Yachiru, the four friends started walking back to Ichigo's house.

Ichimaru Gin smiled as he watched the Espada decorating Aizen's fortress. Yammy was putting up tinsel where Ulquiorra couldn't reach. Szayel had been orders to cut out paper snowflakes, and to hang them around the fortress. The other Espada did have jobs to do, but they had decided to fight to the death in order to decide who would dress as Santa Claus. Not sure how that was supposed to decide that (The winner would dress as Santa, maybe? But that would imply that they all wanted to dress as Santa...), Ichimaru walked through the tinsel-covered halls of the fortress. Arrancar bowed in his presence. Some trembled in his presence out of complete fear. Ichimaru Gin was scary. And powerful. Scarily powerful. Only Aizen and Tosen didn't fear his power. Even the Espada steered clear of him. Everyone believed it was because Ichimaru's spiritual pressure sky-rocketed whenever he was near them, and thus they stayed away from him for the protection of the other Arrancar.

In truth, they steered clear of him because he's just weird.

Ichimaru's smile slightly dropped. He turned around to look behind him. Only a few Arrancar were still bowing to him, but apart from that, nothing. He kept walking. He felt uneasy. Like someone was watching him, waiting for him. He almost felt like he was being stalked.

"Fox-face?"

His smile completely vanished from sight. In its place was a mouth, open in shock. He stared in shock, at Yachiru Kusajishi, who had a candy cane sticking out of her mouth, and was holding a second one in her hand.

Ichimaru trembled, and lifted a skinny arm, pointing at the small creature in front of him. "Y-y-y-YOU? HERE? HOW..."

"Wanna candy cane?" Yachiru smiled. Ichimaru cried.


	6. Gin Shows No Mercy For Small People

**Chapter 6: Gin Shows No Mercy For Small People**

Ichimaru Gin was once captain of the Third Division in Soul Society. He was probably the creepiest captain to exist(He was also second weirdest, first weirdest being Kurotsuchi). When he betrayed Soul Society alongside Aizen and Tosen, he became Aizen's right-hand man. He now lived in a land infested with the most vile, and most evil monsters ever to exist.

And it took nothing more than Yachiru offering him a candy cane to make him cry.

It wasn't the fact that she was offering him a candy cane without the slightest hint of fear in her approach that made him cry. It was the fact that she had managed to enter Hueco Mundo, infiltrate the fortress, find Ichimaru, stalk him until there were no Arrancar nearby, and then reveal herself by calling him by his nickname.

He was crying because he had realised how s*** the security was in Hueco Mundo.

Remembering that he was Aizen's right-hand man and that he was very powerful, he wiped the remaining tears from his eyes, did his best to smile again, and looked down at Yachiru menacingly.

"Hello, Yachiru Kusajishi." His hand slowly went towards his Zanpakuto. "May I ask how you managed to enter the fortress undetected."

Yachiru tilted her head on one side while smiling. "Friends like us can find eachover no problem!"

Ichimaru's hand tightly gripped his Zanpakuto handle. "But, we're not friends, Yachiru..."

"Yes, we are!"

"No. You've infiltrated Aizen's fortress, which makes you..."

"A suprise guest!"

"And an intruder."

Ichimaru drew his Zanpakuto, and pointed the blade at Yachiru. The tip of the blade was mere millimetres away from her nose. "And intruders are to be executed when caught."

Yachiru looked puzzlingly at Ichimaru's Zanpakuto, her head still tilyed on one side.

"Shoot to kill, Shinso."

Orihime, Chad, and Uryu stood by the road next to the Kurosaki Clinic. Urahara was bringing his stock in through the front door, so Ichigo had to climb through his window to avoid being seen. He searched his entire bedroom, looking for his chance to avoid slave labour. If he could just find it...

"Hey! Ichigo!"

Kon pulled himself out from under the bedcovers and looked at Ichigo. "Where've you been? I've been hiding here all day to avoid your demonic sister!" He sat up on the bed. "Don't suppose Rukia's with you, is-GLAAGUMPH!"

Ichigo removed his hand from Kon's mouth and swallowed the small green sphere, and swallowed it, transforming into his Shinigami form, leaving Kon in his physical body.

"Stay here, and make sure Urahara doesn't see you." Ichigo leapt back out of the window to rejoin his friends.

Kon, being somewhat stupid, completely went against what Ichigo just told him to do, and climbed out of the window after him. Unfortunately for him, they were already far in the distance the time he managed to run out to the road where they were standing before.

He really shouldn't have tried to shout at them after that.

Because a certain shop owner who recently had his shop burnt down and had no idea that this was Kon and actually believed it was the real Ichigo who should have been busy rebuilding his shop instead of shouting at people down the road was standing right behind him.

Put simply, it was one hell of a brain-bashing. Literally.

Rukia stood at the highest point in Soul Society, Toshiro standing next to her. It took her some time to mentally prepare herself to use this Kido spell. She turned to Toshiro. "I'll need to borrow your Zanpakuto to use this spell."

Rukia could see that he was reluctant to give her his Zanpakuto, so she explained. "The Kido spell that I am about to use is an extremely powerful one. In order to use it to the extent that you desire, I need two ice-type Zanpakuto; Mine, that is already a powerful ice-type, and yours, that not only is the most powerful of ice-type Zanpakuto, but it can also use Bankai."

Toshiro nodded, and handed his Zanpakuto to her. Holding both Zanpakuto, she spread her arms outward, so her left arm with Toshiro's Zanpakuto was facing north, and her right arm with her own Zanpakuto was facing south. She started moving opn the spot in a circle. Slowly at first, but then her speed increased, and small snowflakes appeared around her. The two Zanpakuto blades turned to ice, starting from the blade tips, then the ice made its way up to the hilts and stopped.

Even though she was spinning in circles, Rukai managed to look at Toshiro. "Did I mention the deadly force push?"

"The what?"

At that moment, the air around Rukia exploded, and Toshiro was sent sailing through the air, over the Seireitei wall, and crashed in the ground somewhere outside the Seireitei. He staggered to his feet, and looked to the Seireitei. Smiling even though his head was bleeding profoundly), he could see a thick cloud hovering over Soul Society, from which thick snowflakes were falling from. He sighed with relief, knowing that he wouldn't be slaughtered with Yamamoto's Bankai.

Now he needed to find Unohana to stop his head bleeding.

**Editor's note: Yes, I completely made that Kido spell up. I can do that. I'm a fanfic writer. I can do what I want! :P**


	7. Yachiru Shows No Mercy For Skinny People

**Editor's Note:**

**Considering what day it is, allow me to start off by saying Merry Christmas!**

**Originally, my plan with this fanfic was to get it finished by today, but clearly, that can't happen. So I shall strive to get this fanfic finished by the new year!**

**But first, I shall spend today playing my new DS game and listening to my new CD! And seeing what else I got for Christmas!**

**Chapter 7: Yachiru Shows No Mercy For Skinny People**

"Oh, COME ON!"

Ichimaru's Shinso went right through where Yachiru's head was and drove itself straight through the ground and into the floor below. Of course, Yachiru somehow managed to leap into the air, and instead of the Zanpakuto piercing her skull, she landed on the blade itself.

"Fox-face, are we playing a game?"

"Yes, it's called DIE YACHIRU, YOU LITTLE S***!" Ichimaru swung his Zanpakuto upwards, slicing through the ceiling. Yachiru flipped off his Zanpakuto and landed on the ground several meters away from him. She looked up at him, smiling that ridiculously annoying smile. "I prefer tag! You're it!" One flash step later, she was gone.

Ichimaru stood still for a moment, and took that moment to contemplate what just transpired. Before, he was just strolling through the Hueco Mundo fortress, admiring the Arrancar's worship towards him, and thinking about betraying Aizen later on in their evil plan. Now, he was forced into playing Tag with Yachiru Kusajishi. Yachiru! Possibly the most annoying Shinigami in existence! Yachiru, who constantly hassled him to give her muffins, even thought he never ate muffins! He always kept a strict diet of almost nothing but dried persimmons, hence why he's so skinny. She knew this, but still she pestered him! Day after day after day after day after freaking day!

Before he realised it, he was already chasing Yachiru down the hallway, wildly swinging his Zanpakuto like a crazed lunatic.

Hanataro Yamada ran through the trees in the Rukongai, panicking as usual. He was seeing some people in one of the districts about an illness they had, and was just leaving when he was bombarded with snowballs. He just couldn't understand it. One minute the sun was shining like a summer's day. The next, a huge cloud appeared above Soul Society, chucking snow wherever there was somewhere for it to land.

Basically everywhere.

He ran through the trees, ducking and leaping to avoid snowballs, until he reached a clearing with a large mound of snow in the middle of it. He leapt over it, and crouched behind it for cover. Snowballs pelted the small mountain of snow, and then stopped. Hantaro sighed. Then he felt the snow mound move slightly. Was it his imagination? Or did that snow mound just talk? He wasn't sure, it sounded like it said "Scatter..."

"I'm sorry, Captain Hitsugaya, but I'm far too busy to tend to your head wound right now."

Toshiro's head was dripping blood all over the Fourth Division quarters, where the majority of members were sewing elf and reindeer costumes, while Captain Unohana supervised.

Toshiro looked puzzled at the captain and the Shinigami. "Did you actually manage to find the sizes of **every **Shinigami in the Seireitei?"

Unohana looked at him, with those kind (and slightly stressed) eyes of hers. "Well, I asked some of the Shinigami from the Tlweth Division, and they've managed to come up with a stretchable material that can change its size depending on how it's stretched and used."

"That's convenient."

"It needs to be. Christmas day is less than a week away, so we need to be quick." Unohana resumed sewingthe costumes, leaving Toshiro to bleed all over the floor. He pointed to his head. "Umm..."

"I think Hanataro's wondering around the Rukongai. He could help you with your head wound."

"Who's Hanataro?"

True enough, Toshiro never actually met Hanatoro during Rukia's imprisonment in Soul Society. While Hanataro was crawling through sewers with Ichigo and Ganju, Toshiro was busy trying to find a good enough reason to kill Ichimaru. With Unohana too occupied to realise he had said anything, Toshiro sighed, and walked out of the room, off to begin his search for Hanataro Yamada.

Ulquiorra sat down after an exhausting day of putting up tinsel. Putting up all over the Hueco Mundo fortress was bad enough. Having to put it up with Yammy's 'help' was worse. Yammy had fallen over several times while standing on his toes trying to reach the really higher places, and when he did fall over, he either landed on Ulquiorra or went through the floor.

Actually, he went through the floor regardless of whether he landed on Ulquiorra or not.

Though Ulquiorra was just happy (or the nearest thing he could possibly get ever to even the slightest little thing you could call being happy) that it was finally finished, so he just crawled into his private quarters, crawled into his bed, and went to sleep.

Contrary to the song, it was no 'Silent Night' for Ulquiorra.

Ten minutes after falling to sleep, something slammed on top of his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. After several minutes or rolling on the floor, gasping for breath, he looked up to see Ichimaru was standing by the door, glaring across the room. He seemed out of breath, and angry as hell. But he wasn't angry with Ulquiorra. He wasn't even looking at him. Instead, he was glaring at Yachiru, who was bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy!"

Ulquiorra looked at Ichimaru. "Sir Ichimaru, what is this Shinigami doing in Hueco Mundo acting like it's sone kind of mundane playground?"

Ichimaru looked down at Ulquiorra. "You mean you haven't seen me chasing her around the entire fortress?"

Ulquiorra shook his head.

Ichimaru shook his head. Not only was the security s***, but so were the Arrancars' attention spans.

Ichimaru looked down at Ulquiorra. "You have five seconds to get up and get out."

Without hesitating, Ulquiorra got up, and pegged it.

Ichimaru looked at Yachiru. "At first, I was just chasing you for the thrill of the chase," (Liar) "But now you've forced my hand." His Zanpakuto was once again pointed at Yachiru. "I'm sure your remains will serve as a fine cuisine for Lord Aizen."

The following events gave Ichimaru a valuable lesson:

Not even a Bankai can stop the destructive force that is Yachiru Kusajishi.

As Ichimaru's super-extended Zanpakuto swept through thewalls and ceiling of the room, Yachiru had somehow managed to attach herself to Ihcimaru's head, her hand slamped onto his eyes, refusing to budge. Blinded by her, Ichimaru swung his Zanpakuto wildly, trying to get her.

"GET OFF, ME YOU LITTLE..."

He swung that sword too much.

Let's just take a moment to remember what Ichimaru's Bankai does. When his Zanpakuto is in its Shikai form, it extends a great length. When it's in its Bankai form, it extends to a length that could slice an entire city in half with just one swing.

The fortress collapsed around them like an unexpected avalanche.

For Yachiru, however, it was apparently completely expected, as she had managed to leap off Ichimaru just in time, flash step to the nearest window, leap out of the fortress, and esape Hueco Mundo, returning to Soul Society, leaving Ichimaru sitting in a mountain of rubble, a blank lookmon his face, staring into the distance.

"Ichimaru..." Aizen stood behind him, obviously annoyed. Also, his left arm was severed from the elbow. "What the hell did you just do?"

**Editor's Note: In case you were wondering, the new DS game was Professor Layton and the Lost Future, and the new CD was Over The Top by White Wizzard! Merry Christmas!**


	8. Yachiru Captured, We Have A Santa!

**Chapter 8: Yachiru Captured, We Have A Santa!**

The Hueco Mundo fortress was in ruins. Ichimaru had been attempting to kill the intruder that was Yachiru. Unfortunately, only Ichimaru and Ulquiorra had seen Yachiru, and the amount of bricks that collapsed on top of Ulquiorra's head had conveniently made him lose all recent memories (even more convenient, only the memories of the previous chapter were lost).

And Aizen was looking at him, waiting for an explanation as to why he felt he needed to destroy the entire fortress.

"Well, Ichimaru?" Aizen was standing with his arms folded. "Why is the fortress in ruins?"

Ichimaru scratched his head, trying to think of a reason that Aizen would believe. "Umm, well, uh...the thing is..."

"I'm waiting, Ichimaru..."

"Uhh...I don't celebrate Christmas?"

Aizen stared at him for a moment. "...You don't?"

"No! I'm, uh...atheist?"

By this point, all of the Espada had managed to drag themselves to their feet, and were all staring at Tosen. It was hardly suprising, but none of the Espada looked like they believed him at all.

Aizen continued to stare at Ichimaru. "...You're atheist?"

"Yes!"

"So you don't believe in God?"

"Umm...yes?"

"Well, that's strange..."

"How so?" Ichimaru became nervous.

"Well, it's probably nothing, but I could have sworn I heard you screaming 'Die, Yachiru, you little hell-spawn', all the way from my throne room."

"Umm..." Ichimaru scratched his head again. "Nightmares?"

Aizen nodded, and then chucked a barely-damaged Santa outfit as Ichimaru. Ichimaru stared at it, and then looked back at Aizen. "You cannot be serious!"

"You f***ed up big time, Ichimaru." Grimmjow said, grinning. "You're the one who has to be humiliated."

Aizen turned to the Espada. "Somewhere in this rubble are elf and reindeer costumes. And a sleigh. Find them, put the costumes on, and then we'll leave."

Grimmjow's smile disappeared. "Leave? Where to?"

"Why, to Soul Society, of course!"

All jaws (save Aizen's) dropped like rocks. Followed by a synchronized cry of "WHY?"

Aizen smiled. "Christmas is a time of sharing and peace. For one day, we shall join the Shinigami in harmony.

All of the Espada looked at eachover with worried faces. Then Ulquiorra looked to Grimmjow. "You didn't seem too bothered about dressing like a reindeer or elf, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow threw a glance at Ulquiorra that clearly meant "Shut up!"

"So, you're finally here."

Byakuya stared up at Yachiru, who was hanging upside down from a tree branch, staring at him in awe.

"You may have evaded my grasp for the past week (Yes. He had been sitting in that field in the snow for a week.), but now you're here, and I can finish what I started." As he said that, he raised his Zanpakuto. "Scatt..."

"MONKEY TOSS!" Yachiru screamed, as she flipped off the tree and landed on Byakuya's head.

Head-first.

"OW, S***! WHAT THE HELL, YOU B****! MY NOSE IS BLEEDING!"

Yachiru stared at Byakuya, eyes wide in shock. Byakuya screaming and cursing like this was unheard of. The once calm, unemotional Shinigami, a perfect example of what a captain should be, was now rolling on the ground screaming like a baby. Like a swearing baby, with a sword.

Yachiru's head then went numb and she fell unconscious.

Sajin Komamura lifted the unconscious toddler from the ground, and watched for a few seconds as Byakuya continued screaming at her. When he noticed that Komamura was there, and that he was holding Yachiru, he stopped screaming, stood up, and wiped the blood from his face.

Komamura smiled. "So that's all I needed to do?"

Byakuya nodded. "Yes. I kept her distracted, and you were to put her unconscious. Mission accomplished."

"And my reward was to see you screaming like a child."

"Yes. But please, PLEASE, **PLEASE **don't tell any other captains about this."

Komamura tossed Yachiru to Byakuya. "You have my word, Byakuya."

Byakuya started walking away with Yachiru back to the Seireitei. "And you have my thanks, Komamura."

"We're lost!"

Sentaro and Kiyone were now in the middle of some barren landscape somewhere, still looking for Yachiru. Kiyone looked at Sentaro. "We aren't lost!"

"Yes we are! We're in the middle of nowhere!"

"No, we aren't!"

"Where are we then?"

Kiyone looked at a map that they picked up from somewhere. Pointing at the corners of the map, she said "We're between here, here, here, and here! That isn't lost!"

Sentaro looked at her. "So basically, we're in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the four corners of nowhere, which are also middles of nowhere, which also have their own corners of nowhere, which are also middles of nowhere?"

Kiyone stared around blankly for a few seconds, before replying with "Pretty much!"

Sentaro sat down on the sand. "So, what do you suppose we do now?"

"We continue our search!"

"We've been walking for hours!"

"So we'll use Flash Step!"

"Are we even supposed to look for Yachiru here?" Sentaro looked into the sky; he could see shapes, moving across the sky like dragons. "Those things kinda look like Hollows..."

Kiyone slapped him across the head. "Of course they're Hollows! We're in Hueco Mundo!"

Sentaro looked up at her. "...WHAT?"

"Captain Ukitake said id we couldn't find her in the Human World, we were to search Hueco Mundo!"

"You IDIOIT! Sentaro leapt back onto his feet. "Don't you recognise sarcasm?"

Kiyone looked into the distance. "Hey look! There's some people over there we could ask for help!"

Sentaro looked where she was looking. "Is that..."

Both of them stared for a few seconds, before both asking "Is that Aizen?"

Kiyone and Sentaro looked eachover, then back to the group of Espada and ex-captains, who were slowly walking towards them. Then looked back to each over.

Then ran away. Back to Soul Society, as fast as their legs would carry them.

The gateway opened outside the Serietei walls as it always did, and Ichigo, Orihime, Chad, and Uryu fell to the ground, landing safely on the thick snow. The sudden cold startled Orihime, and the yelped with suprise. Uryu was surprised by the snow, but didn't yelp like Orihime. He shivered a bit, but then stopped. Ichigo looked up at the Seireitei wall, and saw Rukia standing on top of it, looking back at them. She jumped off the wall, landing in front of them.

"You all done here, Rukia?" Ichigo seemed eager to go back home.

Rukia shook her head. "Byakuya insists that I remain here for Christmas."

Orihime smiled. "Then we'll all stay here for Christmas with you!" She then turned to the others. "You guys don't mind, do you?"

Uryu and Chad didn't mind. Ichigo thought for a moment before answering. "I guess it'll be better than Christmas at my house..."

**FLASHBACK TO LAST CHRISTMAS...**

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, ICHIGO!"

Ichigo screamed, and swung his foot with incredible force. Yuzu and Karin were quick enough to duck. Their dad was not so fortunate.

Ichigo was furious. "Why did you wake me up like this?"

Yuzu smiled, holding out a bag of chocolate coins. "It's Christmas Day, Ichigo!"

Isshin stood up. "Now, come downstairs and open your presents!"

"Can't I just go back to sleep for another 4 hours?"

Yuzu and Karin joined in with their father in shouting "NO!"

**BACK TO THE PRESENT...**

Orihime looked at Ichigo. "Surely it couldn't have been that bad."

"That wasn't the worst of it..."

**BACK TO LAST CHRISTMAS...**

"No, I DON'T want any more turkey! What are you doing? You can't force-feed me-GLUMPH! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME! NO MORE GRAVY, PLEAS-GLUG-GLUG! NOOOO! NO MORE CRACKERS!"

**BACK TO THE PRESENT...**

"...And that's why I'd rather spend Christmas here!"

Orihime accepted that as reason enough, and they walked into the Seireitei, where they were greeted by Ikkaku Madarame and Yumichika Ayesagawa.

Uryu, Chad, and Orihime stared in disbelief. Ichigo burst into laughter.

Ikkaku's bald head was covered with a green elf hat. His ears had become pointed, and he wore a red top with green sleeves, green trousers, and red boots. Yumichika, Shinigami uniform was replaces by a reindeer costume, with antlers and a shiny red nose on his head.

Ichigo managed to get a few words out during his laughing fit. "Y-you're dressed as a...as a...BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Ikkaku was not amused. "Nice to see you too Ichigo. How about I use my Shikai to wipe that smile of your face?"

"Not sure if you remember, Ikkaku, but I beat you last time we fought."

Yumichika was as calm as always. "Now now, Ikkaku. This was to be expected." He turned to Ichigo. "Are you going to be here for Christmas."

They nodded. "Then you should see our Santa Claus!"

Chad blinked. "You have a Santa?"

"Yes. It wouldn't be Christmas without Santa. One of the captains has dressed up as him."

"Which captain decided to dress up as Santa?"

"He didn't. It was Captain Kuchiki's choice."

Ichigo stared. "Byakuya got to choose/"

"Yes. Lieutenant Yachiru was running around unsupervised. A contest was held to see who could catch her first. The winner could decide who was dressed as Santa."

"Who did he pick?"

As he said that, a large man walked up to the group. Dressed with a fake beard, a red hat with a white ball on the end. Since none of the captains were overweight, it was clear he had a cushion shoved up his red jacket. On his face he wore a large white beard...

And an eye patch.

Ichigo stared, flabbergasted, strugelling not to laugh. "...Kenpachi...Zaraki?"

Kenpachi stared at him, gently patting his Zanpakuto's hilt. "Go ahead. Laugh. I dare you."


	9. Yachiru Turns Badass

**Chapter 9: Yachiru Turns Badass**

Ichigo managed to stop laughing at Zaraki after they swung their Zanpakutos around for a few hours. They had both lost too much blood to care.

Plus, when they found out that everyone in the Seireitei, even Ichigo and his friends, had to dress like elves and reindeer, he had no more reason to laugh. Ichigo, Orihime, and Uryu chose to dress as elves. Rukia and Chad chose to dress as reindeer.

Ichigo groaned as he adjusted the position of his hat. "I feel absolutely ridiculous."

Uryu nodded. "Likewise, Ichigo."

Orihime begged to differ. "I think you guys look really cute!"

Ichigo scowled and blushed slightly. Uryu just looked the other way.

Zaraki had managed to get as far away from them as possible. He didn't want Ichigo laughing at him once his wounds recovered, so he retreated to his private quarters, where he was greeted by his own lieutenant.

"Santy Claws? Did you bring me presents?"

Zaraki sat down, and took the hat and beard off his head. "Kenny! Why are you dressed like Santy Claws?"

Zaraki sighed. "That b*****d Byakuya beat me at my own game. I lost a bet, and this is my punishment." He looke down at the fake beard. "To dress like a fictional fatso."

"Byakkun made you dress up as Santy?" Tears were swelling up in Yachiru's eyes. "He tricked me...?"

Zaraki could see where this was going. "Yeah. He did it to trick all the children in Soul Society."

Before he finished his sentence, Yachiru was already gone.

Byakuya was sitting in the Kurosaki household, tending to his bonsai trees. He normally would keep them outside, but due to Yamamoto's demand of snow, he was forced to look after them indoors. He turned away from them to fetch some water. When he turned back, one of them had been sliced into mere twigs.

He turned swiftly, his Zanpakuto drawn, ready to strike at his opponent. A sound like a sword slicing through the air come from behind him, he turned around, and saw another bonsai tree sliced to pieces.

He stiffened his grip on his Zanpakuto, moving towards his target, whose outline was visible in the shadows. "I can see you. Show yourself so I can see my enemy before I kill you."

Yachiru Kisajishi stepped out from the shadows.

"You..." Byakuya did something with his mouth that almost resembled a smile. "I take it you're not happy about Captain Kenpachi dressing up as Santa Claus? Your motives are childish, as is your appearance, and your power."

Yachiru stared at him through cold, merciless eyes. "My power..."

The air around them shifted dramatically. Byakuya fell to one knee.

"What?" He struggled to stand. "What is this spiritual pressure? Is this you, Lieutenant Kusajishi?"

Yachiru spoke in an almost demonic voice. "MY POWER IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION, BYAKUYA KUCHIKI!"

Byakuya dropped to both knees. Anyone else would be pleading for their lives under this much spiritual pressure. But not Byakuya. "You will...address me as..Captain Kuchiki!

Yachiru drew her Zanpakuto. "Behold my true power, Byakuya..."

"What are you doing? What could you possibly do at your...

Yachiru's Zanpakuto morphed and twisted beyond recognition, transforming into a large beast. "Bankai."

Byakuya's eyes widened in both shock and horror.

As Ichigo and his friends walked around the Seireitei, they saw more Shinigami dressed as elves and reindeer. Ikkaku pointed to a group of them, who looked like they wanted nothing more than to die. "The more unlucky Shinigami have to walk around singing carols for the entire day."

Ichigo looked at them for a few seconds. They really looked like ghosts (Yes, I know, technically Shinigami are ghosts but, you know what I mean). "Suddenly dressing as an elf doesn't seem so bad. I mean, as long as I'm not singing."

The spiritual pressure around them suddenly increased at a dramatic rate (This has nothing to do with Yachiru). They all looked up, as a giant gap in the sky appeared, revealing darkness, and ten Arrancar, and three rouge Shinigami.

Yamamoto looked at them. "Aizen!"

Then the Shinigami noticed that, apart from Aizen and Tosen, the rest were dressed up as elves and reindeer. Ichimaru was dressed like Santa Claus. He didn't look to pleased about it. As they saw this, they laughed for a few seconds, then realised that they were dressed the same way, and then stopped laughing.

Yamamoto looked at them. "What do you want, Aizen?"

Aizen smiled. "Seeing as it's Christmas, I wanted to suggest a truce."

The Shinigami were unsure of what to make of this suggestion. "A truce?"

Aizen nodded. "As you can see, we've been preparing for Christmas in Hueco Mundo," He looked at Ichimaru. "But due to someone's incompetence, we decided to forge a temporary truce with you."

"And tomorrow, we get back to trying to kill each over?"

"Would you mind holding that off until the New Year?"

"I suppose not."

Aizen grinned. "Sorted then!" The Espada and their leaders dropped down onto the snow ground below. Ichimaru, however, had decided to Flash Step as far away from them as possible. Their temporary truce meant he couldn't kill them if they laughed at him, so he decided to go and hide somewhere.

While looking for a hind spot, he ran directly into another Santa, Kenpachi. They both stared at eachover for a few seconds.

The Zaraki spoke. "So...they got you too, huh?"

Ichimaru looked down at the ridiculous Santa costume he was wearing. Underneath that beard, he was close to crying. "...Yup."

"Why'd you have to dress up?"

"...Destruction of the Hueco Mundo fortress."

"How'd you manage that?"

"One of the Seireitei lieutenants broke in. It got a little out of hand."

"Oh."

"What about you?"

"...Lost a bet with Byakuya."

"What was the bet?"

"...My lieutenant went missing. First to find her got to choose."

Ichimaru glanced up at Zaraki. "Your...lieutenant?"

"Yeah."

"Your lieutenant is...Yachiru, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"So...the fact that I'm dressing up like this...is your fault?"

"...Maybe."

At that moment, before Ichimaru had the chance to get really angry, a voice could be heard from an alley near them.

"Zaraki..."

Byakuya Kuchiki dragged himself from the alley. His clothes were torn and shredded, barely hanging on him, and his Zanpakuto was missing half of its blade. His face was rigid with scars and open cuts, and one of the fingers on his right hand was only hanging on by a small bit of skin.

Zaraki looked at him with widened eyes. "What happened to you?"

"Zaraki...I'm sorry...making you dress...as Santa was...a mistake..." Byakuya paused to cough up some blood. "Your...lieutenant...beat me to within...an inch of my life...and left me to die..."

Ichimaru looked at him. "Yachiru did this?"

Byakuya nodded. Then looked at Ichimaru. "Wait...Ichimaru? ...Why are you...here?"

"Aizen and Yamamoto declared a truce. Because it's Christmas."

"Oh...so...why are you dressed...like Santa Claus?"

"Because Aizen's a d***."

"Fair...enough..."

"Two Santys?"

Yachiru was standing on the roof above the trio and could clearly see two Shinigami dressed as Santa. Byakuya saw her, and dropped to his knees. "No, Yachiru! Please...don't make me suffer anymore."

He was ignored. Yachiru was still in awe at the sight of two Santas. Ichimaru was angry at the sight of Yachiru. "YOU!" He tore off his hat and beard, and thrust them to the ground. "You're the reason that my holiday is so full of s***! Because of you, I have to dress like an idiot! Thanks you, Yachiru Kusajishi, thanks a f***load!"

Yachiru stared at him. "You're...not Santy?"

"NO! Aizen forced me to dress like this after YOU made me destroy Hueco Mundo!"

"Aizen...tricked me?..."

Zaraki grinned, and lightly elbowed Ichimaru, beforw whispering "Say he tricked her. Say he wanted her to be upset."

Ichimaru whispered back. "What? Why?"

"You know as well as I do what Yachiru is capable of. Except she is capable of more than you can imagine. Just look at what she did to Byakuya!"

"Fair point."

"We, the Shinigami of the Gotei 13, have formed a temporary truce with the Espada of Huceo Mundo, due to it being Christmas." Yamamoto declared in front of most of the Shinigami. He then turned to Aizen. "I could only wish this truce could last for longer than this."

Aizen shook his head. "I am sorry, Captain Yamamoto, but my plans to become the most powerful being in the universe must continue as soon as possible."

"Not if we can stop you first!"

"Why don't we just forget about all of that and enjoy Christmas?"

Slice.

Aizen turned around. Yamamoto turned around. Starrk's head rolled around.

Starrk's head rolled around, completely detached from his neck.

Aizen's eyes widened his eyes at Yamamoto. "What the hell is this, Yamamoto? We were supposed to be having a..."

Slice. Ker-splat.

"...Truce?"

Baraggan's body fell to the ground. His dead body was lying on his stomach, so everyone could see that his spine had been ripped out.

Aizen turned back to Yamamoto, his Zanpakuto already drawn. "You're going to regret this, Yamamoto!"

But Yamamoto also had his Zanpakuto drawn. "I assure you, Aizen, the deaths of your Espada are not my doing!"

"What?"

Clash. Slice.

Tia Harribel did not scream. Her arm was sliced off at the shoulder. She caught a glimpse of his attacker as they brought their Zanpakuto down on her face.

"You're Kenpachi's Lieu..."

Slice. Right down the middle.

Yachiru stood there, looking at the three Espada she had just brutally slaughtered, and wondering if killing them was absolutely necessary. Aizen and Yamamoto just stared at her.

"Yachiru...Kusajishi?" Aizen couldn't quite believe that three of his Espada were just killed by Yachiru. His top three Espada! He stared at Yachiru, his jaw hanging open in disbelief.

Yachiru stared at him through cold, merciless eyes. "You...tricked me..."

Aizen seemed confused. "I haven't been in the Soul Society for months and you only just acknowledge that I betrayed the Shinigami?"

"You made me believe that Santy was gonna give me presents..." Tears started rolling down her eyes."

Zaraki and Ichimaru, both still dressed as Santa, watched from a distance where Yachiru wouldn't see them. "Oh, dear," Zaraki said. "Looks like Aizen's on the naughty list!"

Aizen turned to face them. "Ichimaru, you b******!"

Yachiru drew her Zanpakuto, pointing it at Aizen. "You'll pay for the pain you've caused me!"

Aizen laughed. "What can you possibly hope to do with your Zanpakuto against me?"

"Bankai."

The mouths of Aizen, Yamamoto, the Espada, Ichimaru, and the rest of the Shinigami hung open in complete shock. Zaraki grin was larger than thought possible.

Yachiru's Zanpakuto crumbled in her hands. The shards span around her, constantly changing shape and colour, until they rejoinded behind her, formind a large creature, similar to Komamura's Bankai in size, but in physical form, it was so much different.

Yachiru's Bankai took the form of a giant pink rabbit. Like the ones drawn by Rukia.

But this rabbit had a huge gaping jaw, with dozens of rows of sharp teeth. Where a riabbit's paws would normally be, there were huge claws, which looked like they could tear through a Menos Grande without realising it.

"That's..." Ichimaru was stunned. "That's Yachiru's...Bankai?"

Zaraki grinned. "I've secretly been helping her to achieve Bankai ever since I became Captain of 11th Division."

Ichimaru looked at him. "Seriously? Why?"

"To make up for the fact that I can't even use Shikai."

"Really?"

"No!" Zaraki laughed. "I did it to make up for the fact that she's a s*** lieutenant!"

"That's definitely a more believable answer."

As Yachiru moved her arms around, the rabbit monster's arms moved with her. She stretched out her arm to point it at Aizen. The rabbit's hand manifested a bright blue fireball which exploded in Aizen's face. Aizen, however, managed to shield himself from the blast. The Bankai creature's arm smashed into Aizen's ribs as its claws sliced through the remaining Espada, killing them instantly (with one or two exceptions, but they died shortly after screaming for about five seconds). Aizen fell to the ground, struggling to his knees. Yamamoto simply watched.

Aizen stared at Ichimaru, blood dripping from his stomach. "Ichimaru! Help me!"

Yachiru was ready to deal the final blow. Ichimaru smiled, and waved. "Bye-bye."

**The End.**


End file.
